Monday, December 21, 2015

Keeping Sane While Saying "YES"

Well, it's Monday, the first day of the 2015 winter break--I almost thought I wouldn't make it this year. I wish the lead up into transition times weren't as crazy frantic as they always are, but they ALWAYS ARE. I used to think it was only me, that I lacked some fundamental skill that all others seemed to have--the ability to be all things to all people and mange all the things both at work and at home without feeling completely insane.

But I've had enough honest conversations with other educators/parents to realize I'm not specially deficient. We are all slightly losing our minds and our sense of self agency as we rush from one task to the next trying to prepare for a holiday apocalypse.  

There is always some comfort in knowing we are not alone.

For me, I've found that peace can be obtained. Here are my go to remedies:

  1. Lists (These have always brought me comfort and stop my brain from spinning)
  2. Surrendering, fully, into the most immediate task and focusing only on that one thing
  3. Shutting my bedroom door and lying down for 10 minutes while taking deep breaths
  4. Taking a time out to do something I enjoy (playing a game with my kids, watching a movie, taking a walk, etc)
Furthermore I also keep in the forefront of my addled brain that I am the ultimate creator of this over-scheduled life. Because I LIKE to be always moving and pushing and saying "Yes" I find myself:
  • Working full time in a VERY stressful field like school psychology 
  • Preparing to begin teaching MFA classes at Regis University this spring 
  • Contributing to and compiling an anthology of short stories with six other amazing writers to release this spring 
  • Writing, and editing, and managing the self publishing process for my new young adult novel to release next summer 
  • Trying like hell to also be a good mother, a loving wife.

Did I mention I'm also hosting Christmas dinner in a few days for 20+?

Which reminds me to add, "Clean the bathrooms" to my list!

And it's true that all those things make me spin, but they also all bring me so much joy and fullness. I want all of those experiences, all of those processes, all the end results and joys of digging in and completing things I love to do. I just happen to enjoying doing a MULTITUDE of various things.

My life it full, very, very full--and I'm grateful for every single second of it. Mostly I'm thankful that I'm able to keep up with the pace of it. To still say yes because when I step back from the minutiae of overwhelming details, and take a birds-eye, global view of my life, I see that I want all of it. And more importantly, I'm DOING all of it.

I'm trying.

Because for me, nothing is worse than that sick-knot of regret that develops from not allowing yourself to go for it.


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