Christmas break, snow falling, writer who had very recently been tottering on the brink of disastrous thoughts and behavior that indicated she had given up on Ascendant ever finding the love of a publisher willing to invest the time, money and energy in helping the first book in a serious find a public.
Then, one night while sitting at The Tattered Cover (my favoritiest bookstore) over come with worry, self doubt, and surrounded with all those other books that already had their space on the shelf, I asked for help.
Please God, Universe, Everything, help me know what to do. Help me know how to move--because right now, I'm so stuck. Stuck in the middle of mire that I can't go back, I'm not moving forward, I feel unable to levitate out of this current situation, so please, please help me.
*continued typing on computer*
*several minutes pass*
*notice book oddly displayed all by itself on the mantle in front of me*
*put computer down, get up, consider book, pick up book, sit back down*
*open to the first page*
"Step One--Understand Your Power"
So, I read that book in practically one sitting and then promptly purchased and read the author's other book, Infinite Possibilities and realized that the only person that had been keeping me from allowing my publishing career to flow into the next phase was myself.
I had been circling and circling around and around in that Waiting Place, worrying, not believing, thinking of every possible reason why it would never ever happen for me when honestly, all along, I was no more than an arms reach ahead of me.
But I had to believe that it was there, had to understand, without a doubt that all that was required of me in the situation that I had set up for myself was to step forward and say yes.
And so, I did.
I knew it was happening, things were rolling, I needed to get back into my story because changes were coming, edits would need to happen, discussions with My Editor were going to start flying.
So today, My Call came. My publisher loves my book, they are over the moon about the series. And I said YES. YES. YES.
The two first people I called:
1. My Husband
2. My Mother
I'm not going to lie, the feeling is amazing. And scary, but mostly amazingly excitingly hypnotically crazy. I'm going to buy a bottle of expensive Champagne today and take my wonderful husband out to a fantastic dinner downtown. Also, I am just going to roll back and forth in this joy for the rest of the day. There is work to do, oh yes, but I want to savor every inch of this feeling right now.
After all, when your dream comes true, it's an amazingly beautiful thing that should be completely digested.
Contracts are being drafted.